In Short: What Helps a Child Who Forgets Instructions?
- Use shorter instructions: one or two steps at a time rather than four.
- Ask your child to repeat the instruction: “Tell me what you need to do” before they begin.
- Keep supports visible: a picture checklist, written plan, or bookmark with useful questions.
- Break the task into chunks: complete the first step, check it, then move to the next.
- Use memory games for enjoyment and practice, but do not expect games alone to solve the underlying difficulty.
What Is Working Memory?
Working memory is like a short-term “notepad” in the mind where we hold information needed for the task we are doing right now. A child uses it when remembering three steps in a teacher’s instruction, calculating mentally, or holding a sentence in mind long enough to write it down.
This mental notepad has limited capacity, and children generally have less capacity than adults as it develops with age. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child describes working memory as one of the core executive-function skills, alongside inhibitory control and cognitive flexibility.
What Are Signs That Working Memory May Be Overloaded?
Psychologists Susan Gathercole and Tracy Alloway describe common classroom signs in children whose working-memory “notepad” is overloaded:
- they complete only the first part of a multi-step instruction,
- they lose track halfway through a task and do not know what comes next,
- they forget a sentence they were supposed to write before finishing it,
- they can appear inattentive even when they are trying to listen.
These behaviours are not automatically laziness or unwillingness. The child may simply be unable to hold all the information in mind at once.
How Should You Give Instructions So a Child Can Remember Them?
- Get attention first, then give the instruction. Say your child’s name and wait until they are attending to you.
- Give one or two steps at a time. “Open your notebook to a new page.” Then: “Write the date.”
- Use short, familiar words. Instead of “Prepare your art materials,” say “Get your crayons and glue.”
- Ask for repetition. “What do you need to do now?” If your child cannot remember, repeat it calmly using the same wording.
- Show as well as tell. A gesture, picture, or example on a board can reduce how much information has to be held only in memory.
Supports That Reduce the Working-Memory Load
The most effective support often removes part of the burden from working memory so your child can focus on the task itself.
Situation | Support | How to Use It |
|---|---|---|
getting ready in the morning | picture checklist | 4–5 pictures by the door: get dressed, breakfast, teeth, school bag |
homework | written plan | list tasks and tick them off one by one |
maths word problem | mark important information | highlight the key numbers before calculating |
writing a sentence | repeat it aloud | child says the sentence again before writing the next part |
longer instruction | written note | number the steps one below another |
Over time, your child can learn to make these lists and notes independently. That is a study skill that remains useful throughout school.
How Do You Teach a Child to Make Their Own Step Lists?
At first, you make the checklist and your child ticks it. After a few weeks, swap roles: your child tells you the steps and you write them down. By Grade 3 / Year 4, around ages 8–9, many children can begin writing a three-point instruction list themselves before starting work. Praise not only completion but the act of making the plan.
Five-Minute Memory Games
Games do not replace practical learning support, but they can be enjoyable attention and memory practice.
- What’s Missing? Put a few objects on a tray, ask your child to close their eyes, then hide one. You can also play What’s Missing?.
- I Went Shopping and Bought…: each person adds one item and repeats the whole list from the beginning.
- Movement Instructions in Sequence: “Touch the door, then the window, then sit down.” Add steps gradually.
- Copy the Rhythm: clap a short rhythm and have your child repeat it.
- Reverse Order: for older children, say three digits and ask them to repeat them backwards.
For maths word problems, it can help to read one sentence at a time and draw what is already known. You can find examples for Grade 1 / Year 2 in addition word problems to 10.
What Mistakes Should You Avoid?
- Long instructions given while rushing, especially from another room.
- Repeating the same instruction more loudly instead of making it shorter.
- Saying “You’re not listening again.” Your child may have listened but lost part of the information before using it.
- Relying only on memory-training games. Games do not always transfer directly to schoolwork. Everyday supports that reduce memory load are often more important.
- Too many tasks at once. Short blocks with breaks are easier to manage. See how to improve a child’s concentration for age-based study-block ideas.
If the difficulty is remembering what was read rather than remembering instructions, see how to improve a child’s memory after reading.
When Should You Talk to the Teacher or Another Professional?
Talk to the teacher if, despite shorter instructions and visible supports, your child regularly loses track of tasks, works unusually slowly, or has clear difficulties learning to read, write, or calculate. Ask what support is available at school and whether a discussion with an educational psychologist, paediatrician, or another appropriate professional would be useful.
Sources
- Gathercole S.E., Alloway T.P. — Understanding Working Memory: A Classroom Guide (a guide for teachers, made available by The Dyslexia-SpLD Trust).
- Harvard University, Center on the Developing Child — Executive Function & Self-Regulation (working memory as one of the executive function skills).